“Because God’s plan is better than ours, and because He is sovereign, we don’t have to be searching for husbands, worrying about being pretty enough or charming enough to attract one, or fretting over the prospect of dying old maids. ” page 220

I love this quote from Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin in their extremely enlightening book, So Much More. We have the promise of God that He is in control. The Bible tells us over and over again that nothing comes about that God does not know of. No young woman sits waiting at home for the husband God forgot about. He plans everything perfectly, so perfectly in fact that we will probably not see His complete sense of timing in this life.

I breathe a sigh of relief when to hear that my own personal charms and looks do not matter when it comes to the Lord providing me with a husband, if the time comes. To know that I am not in control really does send a fresh breath of contentment into my soul. If I was responsible for making myself pretty enough to see that I end up married, I would be in vain. And those are not the kind of marriages we want in the first place! A marriage based completely on looks will fade just like the features that they felt were so desirable. In truth,  marriages worth having are the ones that only God  brings together.

And as for charm, I know the Lord tells us that charm is deceitful, but what exactly is charm? Witty expressions, adorable traits? I always thought that charm was elegant and desirable. Most classy ladies had charm I thought - so I looked it up. From the words of Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, charm is:

3 a : a trait that fascinates, allures, or delights  b : a physical grace or attraction —  used in plural  *her feminine charms*  c : compelling attractiveness

The only thing “deceitful” that I can find in the definition is the word “allures”. Fascination and delight are not wrong in themselves, nor are physical grace or attractiveness…but ‘allures‘? To allure means to tempt, entice, or seduce…all actions that require the heart’s emotions. So the charm to be weary of is the charm that allures, not merely a charming character with Victorian styles, but like anything…it is the heart that matters. We sometimes do not realize the emphasis the Lord puts on the heart’s emotions. It is from the heart that we realize the need for a Saviour, it is the heart that produces my truest thoughts and desires.

I want to keep this quote in my mind whenever I think “Am I pretty enough for someone to actually think about courting me? I mean, I shouldn’t scare them before I even know them!” - which happens a lot. I am still learning to value the heart instead of the head, a little more everyday. Anything can happen at the blink of an eye to change the way we look but it takes a wave of change to scrape away our spirits. In the end, what do I work harder at beautifying…my outward or my inward appearance?

For the last year, as most know, the Twilight series rose in popularity, gathering a cluster of women from all ages in their growing fan club. I sat back and watched, metaphorically speaking, as the hordes kept sweeping the nation, obsessed with a forbidden romance, though for centuries we’ve seen the grip forbidden love has had on people, yet for some reason an average story has the hearts of countless women. The grip however ranges from those who just watch the movie once a day to those wearing the insignia on their underwear.

I, personally, have never had any interest in the Twilight fad. At first because everyone liked it, which immediately puts me off. I like to be different and hold my head up high when girls almost hyperventilate when they realize I’ve never done something and now…not having watched the Twilight movies. So, my first inclination was to not like it, even though I’d never seen it.

But then I read very useful articles such as : Eclipse : An Ideal Romance, Abstaining from the Madness, and How Twilight is Revamping Romance.

Then, after considering the entirety of the subject, I decided to watch the first movie, so I would be able to finalize my objections. And while I’m on the subject of objections…I read on her Wikipedia page that Stephenie Meyer likened her book with having been inspired by Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery, among other classics of literature! For what it’s worth, I didn’t see any supernatural men falling in love with Anne, who is the opposite of Bella; charming, talkative, and completely fascinated with life.

After having Mom verbalize her trust that I wouldn’t turn into a “fanpire” I viewed the movie on You Tube. I have seen the plot before, though, minus the undertone that the leading man has a thing for the heroine’s blood.

As a movie, it was, at times, corny. There are a few moments where I thought Bella was surprisingly refreshing as a heroine, mostly due to the fact that she trips and acts like the average girl, which is probably what captures most girls’ attention. Lined up against the wall with other movies, it isn’t out of the ordinary in the fact that the romance is selfish - on Bella’s part, and that a real eternity exists yet they choose to live their life on their terms.

And for the record, as for ‘promoting abstinence’, I felt that during that particular scene, when Edward throws himself across the room after kissing her, that he is not removing himself from the act of premarital sex, but trying not to kill her. If he was sure he wouldn’t kill her, I feel like they would’ve went ahead and… *ahem* you know, since he did end up spending the night in her bed anyway he obviously didn’t think about it being too sensual.

But in the light that Twilight is receiving globally, I feel that it can be dangerous for young girls and as it seems - their mothers. Yet all movies, with the exception of a few truly clean films, can become distractions when they become more than a two hour plot line. When anything takes our eyes off of Christ we are vulnerable and when we place something ahead of Him Satan takes his best shots. Twilight is not the only movie that has stirred hearts in the wrong direction. When we have an obsession towards something, whether is be Edward Cullen or our own personal glory, it becomes dangerous. We are all sinners, easily swayed by the smallest thing, but the thing that defines us from the world is that we have a Saviour, one who is more powerful than our sinful nature, and can save us from it.

After having seen it, these are my conclusions…it is an ordinary movie with a plot line that straddles others before it, with the exception of vampires and werewolves. I do not feel the need to watch this movie again, and I am a romantic, so that tells you something.

But what is more, I do not believe Twilight is at the very heart of the problem, but our own hearts. We choose to let it control us or not. Sure the movies have helped in that area, but we take what is in them and decide to let them run rampant for a while.

After reading Why Am I Not Married? over at Visionary Daughters,  I was convicted in one of their paragraphs on what I really thought a husband would want in a wife and if I was preparing to be those things. I sat down and honestly contemplated the virtues I would want to be, whether I have them or not, and these are what I came up with.

1. She must be a maturing Christian, showing the fruit of the Spirit.
2. She should be committed to family; present and future.
3. Her character should be real and not falsely implied.
4. She should be able to run a house without too much difficulty.
5. A follower of the Scriptures, not only reading but acting out their commands.
6. Modesty. Not only of the body but of the mind.
7. Willingness to change lifestyles for the plan God has for her life.
8. Ability to be hospitable. A warm and welcoming personality as well as home.
9. She must have a gentle spirit.
10. A willing and sacrificial heart.

#4 is still in the process but I am pushing through my dislike for cooking in order to serve my family more.

#7 and # 10 are in the same boat of being willing to follow the Lord and doing what He commands without any other element thrown into the picture. I am a little hesitant to change my life, but I believe that if I was called by the Lord to leave the life I know, that I would do so without grumbling. I may be a little unsure at first, but I don’t want to grumble.

#8…oh boy! I don’t like to talk a whole bunch in public conversations. However, I don’t go out of my way to be silent. I may pipe in every now and then or talk with someone who needs talking with, but I try not to be unpleasant under any circumstance.

There’s my convictions and confessions about how I fail at them (for all to see *gasp*), but I have the best aid on my side; God’s grace and prayer.

After reading about a young man, 18 years old, almost out of high school, who was killed unexpectedly while meeting up with his dad at a little rest stop by a train, I began to think about something that has been on my mind recently. He was just crossing the tracks, probably as he had done for many years, and his life ended with just a simple accident.  How many plans do you think he had for his life? College, a family, life to its fullest? And in the blink of an eye, he is gone.

At our age, I am assuming around later teen years, where we are growing and maturing, we have plans running rampant. Either we want to travel, get married, or even just see what happens after high school. Too many times we think of the future as being far reaching and holding plenty of time to do the things we want. Too little do we realize that we do not hold time in our hands, nor do we control the amount we are given.

Sometimes, we are positive that we will marry, have children, become adults, and do things that we want to while we are living. Especially young women, like myself, who are eager to be wives and mothers, yet forget that that may not be the case.  We plan our futures, sometimes forgetting that the one who really does plan our lives is Sovereign and Eternal. He knows what path our lives will take, and how long we have to journey them.

Recently, I have been thinking more about my future in a view of generational. What I do now affects not only how I live, but others down the road live. I want to get married and raise a family, yet I cannot plan for that alone. I must plan to live my life for God’s glory, and with that, all will fall into place. I must live for Him while I still am. I could die tomorrow, a year from now, or when I am gray and have seen many years, yet I want them, no matter how many I get, to glorify God.

Marriage can be an idol, when that is what we strive for, and plan our years around. Yet it can glorify God when we plan for it in His timing, while we go about our Father’s business.

That young man, after living 18 years, died without warning. He was just driving, meeting his father, when he was taken away. I want to be able to meet my Heavenly father with many years, even though I knew nothing of when they would end, to be full of honor to God, showing that, no matter when my time was up, every day was spent in one consuming purpose: to bring glory to Him who made me.

I was reading this post on this dear lady’s blog, and I thought I could share it with those who hadn’t read it. Number 4 struck the most in my character and desire for marriage.

4) Cultivate a schedule (along with a daily quiet time) before you have to schedule life around children. If you can function on a schedule as a single young lady, then you will flourish as a wife and mother.

Schedule. That words brings either relief or fear. To me, having a schedule is refreshing, yet I sometimes fall into a schedule of no schedule at all, if that is possible. Like the aspect of my personality, where I enjoy waking up early in the morning feeling refreshed, yet it is hard, since I enjoy my sleep. The question is, which will I choose? The long term beneficial, or the “right now” desire for a few more minutes of rest?

Anyway, back to the topic. At any age, we should learn to handle schedules with maturity and sense. Either married, single, or young, we should be able to exercise self control and follow a daily pattern. Learning to rise when we need to, restraining when we should go to bed at a reasonable hour, eating healthy to maintain the temple of the Lord, taking in fresh air and sunshine, keeping a routine of either schooling, work, or house work. If we are preparing to run our own homes, and nourish a growing family, we need to be able to handle the daily hours with preparedness. Sometimes schedules are different due to ways of life, but nevertheless, there are schedules intact.

Keeping a schedule, when we are engrossed in it, is easy. But following a routine when we perhaps are not all enthused about it, is hard. My  growing in this area of life will mostly be in following a schedule where I am not the immediate beneficiary, or my hobbies are put on hold.

With the somewhat heavy dusting of snow received by our section of the country, people are canceling basketball games (which tells of desperate measures around here), closing schools, and staying indoors.  I have worn the same outfit now for about five or six days, because I don’t have to worry about going anywhere. Our schools days start late, due to no events later on in the day, and we drag the subjects throughout spurted breaks until late afternoon. Unlike some, we are enjoying our snow days. Wrapped up at home, not worrying about going into town, and completely relaxed throughout the entire day, what could be better?

Some people are out shoveling, while others let it lie. Some are still speeding through on the snowy roads, while others poke along. I’ve realized, snow affects people different ways. I know people who hate the idea of cold, harsh winters, and moan all winter about being cold, while others go with the flow, and know how to wear boots, gloves, and scarves with a smile. People either freak out and rush to the stores when the idea of snow comes along, or look out the window and dismiss the idea. (Some even make snow pies due to the weather)  Yet, life carries on. The difference is how we handle what comes our way.

Tragedies, happiness, trials, and blessings are all to be met with sooner or later. And God does not leave us through any of them, though sometimes we remove our hearts from God. Through the thick times we sometimes arrange our priorities on our emotions, which cannot be trusted. We should put our priorities in the order of what God says. He is the only one who can see past the pain of the present, and be glorified when the light shines through the seemingly endless darkness in the future.

I have read and heard about many young ladies who are not in a society of like minded young ladies. I myself have few “in person” friendships with such friends, and sometimes I become discouraged. It is not often that I am blue over the fact of not having colleagues who fit every criteria that I desire in a friend. Yet I understand many young girls or perhaps even young men who are in a circle of people who are not home schooled or even Christian, and who wish to be able to be in company with people who believe like they do.

Yet, while we wonder why the Lord has placed us in such a position, maybe we should look at it another way. Perhaps our roles don’t seem desirable, but we may be the special few who are the ones to grow and nurture such a society. If we share our convictions with others, and they begin to see why we believe the way we do, a relationship unlike that of a like minded friend becomes present. Many times God molds our characters in such circumstances where we are not in a comforting position amidst friends who agree with what we have to say, or even appreciate what we announce. Sometimes He gives us relationships where we are taught to defend our convictions, or learn to be compassionate but not compromising in our bonds with those who may or may not be Christians. For some, to have a friend that keeps them constant instead of cushioned, it is better.

I am around people, whom I love dearly, some who agree with my convictions, while others do not. I used to wish for ONE friend who was home schooled, old fashioned, and completely complacent with the soundtrack to Braveheart and long walks in the woods, yet apart from my cousins, I do not have a group of friends who are just like me. And that may be a good thing!

There will be times when we are thrown into a community where no one shares our worldviews, and what shall we do then? We are to be Christian witnesses, not just in our words, but in our actions. If we shy away from people just because they are different or believe differently from us, how are we to appear?

I like to be alone, or in the company of those I love. I do not like to be around those who are different from me, I admit it. I would rather be off doing something I enjoy, but I have been working on (with the constant reminder of my mom) what I refer to as “Loving God’s people, not just my people”. I mean, the Lord died upon the cross for them too!

So when I become saddened by my lack of like minded friends, I just have to remind myself, that I need to be just as kind to those I come in contact with, than with those I would rather be in company with. Our Sovereign Lord knows our limits, our desires, and most importantly…our heart. He knows when we have our heart set on something and the manner in which we set it.  We may need to realize that we are placed in such places because the Lord has put us here…not in mistake or forgetfulness, but in the righteous and loving way that we come to know when He is our father. And we need to apply this mindset to every area of our life, and especially in the areas where we are weak of heart and spirit; places, in which,  we personally do not want to be.

Blizzard Dumps Snow on Copenhagen as Leaders Battle Warming…

I found this exceedingly humorous as I opened the Drudge Report this morning. Maybe God’s trying to get a point across…

Does Being Loved Mean Being Made Much Of?

“For many people, this is not obviously an act of love. They do not feel loved when they are told that God created them for his glory. They feel used. This is understandable given the way love has been almost completely distorted in our world. For most people, to be loved is to be made much of. Almost everything in our Western culture serves this distortion of love. We are taught in a thousand ways that love means increasing someone’s self-esteem. Love is helping someone feel good about themselves. Love is giving someone a mirror and helping him like what he sees.

This is not what the Bible means by the love of God. Love is doing what is best for someone. But making self the object of our highest affections is not best for us. It is, in fact, a lethal distraction. We were made to see and savor God-and savoring him, to be supremely satisfied, and thus spread in all the world the worth of his presence. Not to show people the all-satisfying God is not to love them. To make them feel good about themselves when they were made to feel good about seeing God is like taking someone to the Alps and locking them in a room full of mirrors. “

John Piper, Don’t Waste Your Life

Breakthrough-the Beauty of Christ, My Joy

“…Why do we cherish being forgiven by God? There are answers to this question that would dishonor him, because there are benefits from forgiveness that a person may love without loving God. We might say, “I cherish being forgiven by God because I hate the misery of a guilty conscience.” Or “… because I hate the prospect of pain in hell.” Or “…because I want to go to heaven to see my loved ones and have a new body with no sickness.” Where is God in these reasons for cherishing forgiveness? In the best case he is there in all these reasons as the real treasure of life.

If so, then these delights are really ways of cherishing God himself. A free and clean conscience enables us to see more of God and frees us to enjoy him. Escape from hell at the cost of Christ’s blood shows us more of God’s commitment to merciful holiness and his desire for our happiness. The gift of seeing loved ones highlights God’s  wonder in creating relationships of love. Getting a new body deepens our identification with the glorified Christ. But if God himself is not there in these gifts-and I fear he is not for many professing Christians-then we do not know what forgiveness is for.”

John Piper, Don’t Waste Your Life

The Goal of Life- Gladly Making Others Glad in God